Parashat Yitro- Honoring Parents and Para Aduma
In Parashat Yitro we read of the declaration of the Ten Commandments, the fifth of which being the obligation to respect one's parents.
The Gemara in Masechet Kiddushin tells a remarkable story relevant to this Misva, involving a gentile jeweler named Dama Ben Netina. Once the Jews needed a certain precious stone for the breastplate of the Kohen Gadol (high priest), and so they sent a delegation to Dama Ben Netina to purchase the desired stone. Dama, however, informed the delegation that the key to his vault was located underneath his father's pillow, and he was unwilling to disturb his father to take the key. The Jews offered an exorbitant price in exchange for the stone, yet he refused. So insistent he was on respecting his father that he forewent on a lucrative business opportunity in order not to disturb his father's sleep.
The Gemara tells that God rewarded Dama with the birth of a Para Aduma, a red heifer, in his herds. These animals are very rare, and the Jews, of course, required a Para Aduma for the preparation of the purifying waters with which people and utensils can become Tahor (purified) after contracting Tum'a (impurity). The Rabbis approached Dama and paid an enormous sum in exchange for the red heifer, such that he earned his reward for the extraordinary honor and respect that he showed to his father.
The obvious question arises, why did God choose to reward Dama specifically in this fashion, through the birth of a Para Aduma? Why didn't He grant him wealth through some other means? Might there be some kind of conceptual connection between the obligation of honoring parents and the law of the red heifer?
In a certain sense, these two Misvot are the diametric opposites of one another. The obligation of honoring parents is intuitive and self-evident, as every person, regardless of his faith, can easily understand and appreciate the moral obligation to show gratitude and respect to parents. After all the parents have done for the child, it is clear that he owes them a debt of gratitude and should therefore show them considerable honor and respect. The Para Aduma, by contrast, is commonly looked upon as the quintessential "Hok," or Misva whose reasoning eludes human comprehension. We do not and cannot know the true reason why God designated specifically a red heifer as the means through which one earns purification.
By rewarding Dama through the birth of a Para Aduma, God sought to demonstrate the fundamental difference between his outlook and that of the Jewish people. As admirable as Dama's respect for his father was, he acted in this way because of his own understanding, because it made perfect sense to him. The Jews are unique in that they pay enormous sums of money even for a Misva that they do not understand. We observe not only the laws that are intuitively logical, but even those which we do not understand. Not only do we refrain from stealing, which is an intuitive value, but we also refrain from eating meat with milk, a law whose reason cannot be definitively identified.
The lesson God sought to convey is the importance of observing out of obedience to divine authority, and not merely due to logical understanding. Dama's devotion to his father was undoubtedly inspiring, but his devotion did not extend as far as our devotion to the Almighty, which leads us to make great sacrifices and invest immense efforts even for laws that cannot be explained based on logic and intuitive understanding.
