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"May God Make You Like Efrayim and Menashe"

We read in Parashat Vayehi of the special blessings that Yaakov conferred before his death upon Yosef's two sons, Efrayim and Menashe. After conferring these blessings, Yaakov declared that for all generations, Jews will bless their sons with the blessing, "May God make you like Efrayim and Menashe" (48:20). Indeed, there is a widespread custom for parents to bless their sons every Friday night with this blessing.

The obvious question arises, why do we wish for our children to become specifically like Efrayim and Menashe? There were many great, righteous men throughout our nation's history whom we would certainly be proud to have our children emulate. What unique quality did Efrayim and Menashe possess which we seek to inculcate within our children by reciting this blessing each week?

As we know both from the Book of Bereshit as well as our own experiences, brothers very often compete with and struggle against one another. Already the first two brothers in the history of mankind, Kayin and Hevel, became embroiled in a rivalry that left one of the brothers dead. Later, Yishmael was cruel and hostile to his brother Yishak, Esav sought to kill his brother Yaakov, and Yosef's brothers sold him into slavery. Indeed, it is often very difficult for brothers to live together peacefully and be accepting of one another. As much as parents try to treat all their children equally, invariably one appears to receive more than the other, and one feels slighted and resentful. This resentment quite often breeds hard feelings or, even worse, bitter contention and strife between brothers.

In the case of Efrayim and Menashe, the risk of resentment and strife was even more acute. As we read one verse earlier (48:19), Yaakov prophesied that Efrayim, the younger brother, would produce a larger and more prominent tribe than the older brother, Menashe. Yaakov therefore insisted upon resting his right hand upon Efrayim's head as he administered the blessing, to indicate Efrayim's status of prominence. This arrangement – whereby a younger brother is designated as the more prominent member of the family – is normally a recipe for disaster, as it was in numerous instances earlier in the Book of Bereshit. However, Menashe accepted his brother's designation and the two continued to enjoy peaceful and congenial relations with one another.

This, perhaps, is the blessing we seek to confer upon our children on Shabbat. Nothing makes a parent happier than to see his children get along with one another and live harmoniously together. As the family comes together on Friday night, we bless and instruct our children to follow the example of Efrayim and Menashe, of accepting and loving one another even if it appears that one has received more or enjoys preferential treatment. Children must be taught that it is nearly impossible for parents to be perfectly fair all the time, that inevitably some children will end up with "the better end of the deal." It therefore behooves every sibling to act like Efrayim and Menashe, and to feel love and affection for his siblings even if he occasionally feels slighted.

There may, however, be yet another explanation for this blessing. Efrayim and Menashe were unique in that they grew to be righteous men – on the same level as Yosef's brothers – despite having been born and raised in Egypt. Egypt at that time was the most depraved and corrupt nation on earth, and, needless to say, there were no other Jews living there other than Yosef and his family. Yet, Yosef somehow managed to raise his sons to become accomplished Sadikim, even in such a spiritually hostile environment and without a proper religious infrastructure. For this reason, perhaps, parents bless their children that they should resemble Efrayim and Menashe. Especially in exile, our children inevitably become exposed, on one level or another, to foreign cultures which stand in direct opposition to the values and principles of the Torah. We therefore bless our children that they should follow the inspiring example of Efrayim and Menashe, who achieved spiritual greatness despite the decrepit environment in which they were raised. It is our prayer for our children that they, too, should have the strength and resolve to resist the harmful influences to which they are exposed, and remain unwaveringly faithful to the sacred traditions of Avraham, Yishak and Yaakov.