Parashat Tazria|Mesora - The Evil Tongue and the Evil Heart
The Evil Tongue and the Evil Heart
Much of Parashiyot Tazria and Mesora is devoted to the laws of Sara’at, the skin infection that would surface on people guilty of Lashon Ha’ra – negative speech about other people.
Rav Avraham Pam (1913-2001) made an important insight into the nature of this prohibition of Lashon Ha’ra. The term literally means, "evil tongue," and many people thus mistakenly think that the sin originates from the tongue. There is a misconception that the problem lies exclusively in the mouth, which Lashon Ha’ra violators exercise too freely and without discretion. In truth, however, the tongue is merely the instrument of the heart. The real source of the problem of Lashon Ha’ra lies in the heart, in our attitude toward people and toward the world. Negative speech results from a negative, cynical outlook, from viewing everything critically and focusing one’s attention on the unfavorable side of things. The person who speaks Lashon Ha’ra, more often than not, is looking to criticize, looking to find fault in other people. Rather than searching for what’s good about those around him – and there is plenty of good to find in most people – he searches for that which he could criticize and deride.
To clarify this point, Rav Pam noted how parents are usually their children’s most ardent and forceful advocates. When a child misbehaves, the parents instinctively rush to his or her defense, giving all kinds of reasons why the child should be excused and deserves another chance. The reason, Rav Pam explained, is found in a famous verse in the Book of Mishle (10:12): "Al Kol Pesha’im Techase Ahaba" – "Love covers all iniquities." When a person truly loves another, he will "cover" that person’s wrongdoing and defend him in any way he can. Therefore, the way to avoid Lashon Ha’ra is by increasing our love and respect for our fellow Jews, and we will then become everybody’s advocate rather than everybody’s critic.
Rav Pam pointed to his mother as an inspiring example of this approach to avoiding Lashon Ha’ra. She strictly refrained from speaking negatively about others, but she did not wish to sharply chastise her friends who were not as careful about this prohibition. So instead, whenever she heard other women speaking Lashon Ha’ra, she would either try to change the topic of conversation, or, when possible, she would intercede on behalf of the person in question. She would try to direct her peers’ attention to the positive aspects of that person’s personality, and away from the person’s faults.
The Vilna Gaon (Rabbi Eliyahu of Vilna, 1720-1797) wrote a famous letter to his family before he took of leave of them, in which he issued a number of admonitions, placing special emphasis on the gravity of Lashon Ha’ra. He described the great spiritual light that bursts forth in the heavens each time a person has the opportunity to speak something negative about somebody else but abstains. The Gaon viewed Lashon Ha’ra as such a grievous offense that he advised his daughters not to attend synagogue, because of the risk that they may end of engaging in gossip as a result of the social atmosphere.
Avoiding improper speech about other people is thus a critical concern that should occupy all of us. As we said, the way to address this problem is to focus not on our mouths, but rather on our hearts. By correcting the way we feel about other people, we will naturally correct the way we speak about them, as well.
