Parashat Toledot- Drowning in Yishak’s Second Well
Among the more esoteric narratives in the Torah is the story told of Yishak and the three wells he dug near the land of the Pelishtim (26:19-22). We read that Yishak’s shepherds dug two wells, but the Philistine shepherds contested Yishak’s ownership, claiming that these wells belonged to them. Yishak’s shepherds then dug a third well, over which no controversy ensued. The Torah, for some reason, deemed these experiences important enough to receive mention, and it even informed us of the names Yishak gave to these wells. The first well was named "Esek," which means "tumult" or "controversy," and Yishak named the second well "Sitna" – "enmity." The third well, for which Yishak did not have to struggle, was named "Rehobot," which denotes expansion and growth.
What is the purpose of this narrative? Our Sages teach that no verse in the Torah is written for naught, and, moreover, the verses that at first seem the least important actually convey some of the deepest and most fundamental principles of Judaism. How, then, can we understand the message underlying the story of Yishak’s wells?
The Ramban (Rabbi Moshe Nahmanides, Spain, 1194-1270) explains that these three wells parallel the three Bateh Mikdash (Temples). The first two Temples met with the anger and fury of enemy nations, who set them ablaze and destroyed them. But the third Mikdash, which will, please God, soon be built, will usher in a period of peace and security for the Jewish people. It will be characterized by "Rehobot" – the expansion of the Land of Israel to accommodate the entire nation.
The Keli Yakar (commentary by Rabbi Shlomo Efrayim of Luntschitz, 1550-1619) elaborates on the Ramban’s approach, adding an important insight regarding the names of the first two wells. As we saw, Yishak named the first well "Esek," a term which the Keli Yakar understands as referring to controversies involving important matters. The First Temple period was marked by Am Yisrael’s division into two separate kingdoms, which frequently waged bitter wars against one another. This was indeed a time of "Esek," of harsh confrontations between government leaders over territory, resources and political power.
The Second Temple period, by contrast, was a time of "Sitna" – hatred and hostility triggered by trivial and petty concerns. Here, it wasn’t the political leaders who fought with one another, but rather the masses, the ordinary citizens, who simply could not get along with each other. They fought and quarreled over everything, rather than patiently tolerating each other’s differences.
Of course, the Torah admonishes us to avoid both types of hatred with our fellow Jews. We must find a way to avoid discord over both major and minor issues. However, as we still find ourselves in the second exile, drowning, as it were, in Yishak’s second well, the well of "Sitna," we must focus our attention primarily on this area of interpersonal conduct – our fighting and quarreling over the "little things."
How do we explain this tendency, to fight over nonsense? Why do we suffer so sorely from "Sin’at Hinam" – baseless hatred, hatred for no logical reason?
Rabbi Dr. Abraham Twerski offered some psychological insight into this phenomenon. The human being’s subconscious does not work according to the same logical systems as the conscious level of the mind. The subconscious will often equate two entities the moment it finds some point of resemblance between them. It works on theorem that "if part of A = part of B, then A=B." Therefore, it often happens that we notice something displeasing in another person – even something in his appearance, mannerisms or speech – which reminds of somebody or something we don’t like. We then identify the person in question with the person or thing we don’t like, thus resulting in our overall distaste for that individual.
This is the technique of the Yeser Ha’ra (evil inclination) which we must resist. We must learn to love, respect and show concern for all our fellow Jews even if they have some quality that does not appeal to us, or even if we can’t agree with them on all matters. There will always be differences between us, and rarely will we like and approve of everything a person thinks, says or does. In order to overcome Sin’at Hinam, we must train ourselves to respect even those with whom we disagree. Only then will we reach the third and final well, the well of "Rehobot," the time when Am Yisrael will enjoy peace, harmony and security, and the rebuilt Bet Ha’mikdash, speedily and in our times, Amen.
